Consummatissimus
by playingmakebelieve
Summary: Plagued by memory loss, Severus' struggles to remember what he wished his lover could forget. How did he survive Nagini's venom? Who is the angel in his arms? postwar/HIATUS
1. the grim reaper

Perspiration trickled into his dark hairline, and his brows furrowed to create a pained hood over his tight eyes. His clenched jaw grinded the teeth within as he suppressed the urge to scream out in agony.

His head tossed back and forth in an effort to alleviate the pulsating throb. Behind his heavy lids flickered the images of the lifeless gray faces staring at him, of every muggle he slaughtered without hesitation to quench Voldemort's thirst for blood.

Like a film stuck on replay, the last few seconds filtered through, where the glaze of death took over their teary eyes, comatose hollowed their features, and their skin ashened as the essence of life flittered away. He watched as they cowered from him, pleading to take mercy.

He saw the acceptance burst through them as their bodies relaxed and welcomed death, when the green of the killing curse shot out from his wand and spiraled towards them. He was a murderer. He was their murderer.

His hands were crimson with the fates of seventy-six people, with families and futures. A lone tear, fat with sorrow, slithered down the pallid face of Severus Snape.

The serpent-slitted red eyes of Voldemort, alight with mockery flashed under his eyelids.


	2. the familiar beauty

With a startled jolt, Severus sat up in bed frantically searching the room. His heart pounded in his ears. He could hear his loud pants as he struggled to fill his lungs with air. He looked over to see bright amber eyes drowning with concern. The familiar woman had the sheets pulled up to her chest, her bare collarbone and shoulders evidence of nudity. "Sev?" Her voice was soft and sweet, like the smooth honey swirls in her eyes. He was lost in them. He saw her plush lips moving but could hear nothing. He wanted to feel them on his own; he needed to, like a starving man needs sustenance. He reached out to brush a golden lock of hair that had fallen in her face. He had to make sure she was real. Just a touch was enough. He watched as her slender fingers gently stopped his shaky hand. She used her own, guiding his to cup her face, and leaned in to tenderly kiss him. "Severus? Should I call the healer?" Her words soothed him, and he found himself reaching out to bring her closer. She welcomed his embrace, brushing her lips delicately over the Nagini's mark on his neck. A pleasant shudder wracked his frame, placing a contented smile on her lips.

"Wh-who are you?" Her small smile faded and she broke eye contact. He stared at the wall as he burrowed in shame. How could he forget someone like her? Her eyes were brimming with moisture but she continued to situate chaste kisses on his snakebite.


	3. The repressed memory

"It's alright. You're subconscious is just trying to repress those horrible memories. Don't wor- Sev, look at me." He turned his gaze to her. He found himself hating that he put this beautiful woman through this. She seemed unsurprised which meant this wasn't the first time. The woman, his woman, sighed sadly and entwined their fingers. "How about I tell you our story, and you tell me if you remember anything?" Severus nodded slowly, and ran his free hand through his hair nervously. He didn't want to let her down.

"We'll start at the Second Wizarding War. You were a Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts then, a potions master too, at the school Hogwarts. Do you remember?" The word '_sssnape_' was hissed in his head, from the mouth of a snake. He knew that voice. Voldemort.

"Severus Snape…that's me," he murmured as he watched her flush with happiness.

"I was once your student…do you remember me?" He shook his head and she continued. "I was one-third of the Golden Trio, others being Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter." His voice, a memory of sorts, echoed from the far corridors of his mind. _That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger... Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all._" He felt his lips curve upwards while he whispered her name.

"Hermione." The beautiful brunette closed her eyes as if to savor her name being caressed by his tongue. Guilt panged at him for a millisecond for ever insulting her so. His long finger carefully traced her lower lip like Michelangelo revisiting a masterpiece. She breathed his name through parted lips and looked up at him through subdued lashes. "Do you remember the war? The Second Wizarding War?" Like a car crash, the images that tormented his subconscious hit him full speed. He remembered everything, from the espionage to his last moments after Voldemort's snake imbedded toxins within his skin. Why was he here? He was supposed to die. "I-I'm…confused?" She didn't laugh at him like he feared, but logically, he hadn't expected her to. He continued to cradle her in his arms as she began to fall into her past.


	4. the final battle

"It was the Battle of Hogwarts, the final battle after all the Horcruxes were destroyed, and everyone was running on empty will. We didn't know if we wanted to make it out alive in this war anymore. Everyone was gone, everything was in ruins. Voldemort was battling McGonagall, Slughorn, and Shacklebolt all at once and everyone else was fighting his last remaining followers. I remember feeling such burning hatred towards Bellatrix Lestrange, for the Longbottom's torture, for Sirius and Tonks, for the Cruciatus curse she used against me at Malfoy Manor. I wanted to be the one to murder her; I wanted to hurt her as bad as she hurt us. I spewed curses, Sev, I rattled them off not caring if they hit or missed. Ginny and Luna were there too, but helped block most of her hits with protection charms. All I saw was the flash of green and red, clashing or ricocheting. Then I watched her almost kill my best friend. I lost it. I couldn't see anything anymore. I remember feeling my feet move me closer as I continued to scream spells. I didn't care anymore at that point…..I don't think I did. I was ready to die fighting."

Severus watched Hermione's face contort with pain as she gazed blankly at him. She was ensnared in her memories now. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and he had been brushing them away with his lips. Her own were trembling and he could see she was making an effort to finish the story, to help him understand. He took her hands and kissed the pad of each finger, her palms, up her wrists, all the way to her naked collarbone, in attempt to calm her. By the time he had finished, her breathing had slowed, and the tears were just drying trails of moisture. She took a trembling, unsure breath and continued her tale.


	5. the last stand

"It was your curse, you know? I remember reading it from The Half-Blood Prince's Advanced Potions textbook. It was sectumseptra, your slashing curse, and I hadn't remembered the counter-curse in time. Everyone else was preoccupied with Bellatrix; they hadn't had time to use dittany either. There were bloodied lacerations all over my torso, my clothes were hanging off like dangling cobwebs, but I didn't care." She paused and let out a heavy sigh, "I just felt numb, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. I tried to look up, but I was just so tired. My eyelids wouldn't open, every muscle in my body loosened. I wanted to give up, to float away from all the pain and dance on the clouds. Then I felt hands lifting me. Like my prayers were answered and they were raising me to heaven." She let out a soft chuckle, amused at her foolish thoughts. Severus noticed her eyes were still dull.

"It was Luna Lovegood. Merlin, how could I think an angel was saving me and ever have called her loony? She and Ginny heaved me to the shrieking shack, left me on my back, and ran off to fight more. I was lying there, staring blankly at the black walls around me. I didn't want to die alone, in a haunted house where no one could find me. I remember I started sobbing loudly, partly from the pain and partly from feeling abandoned by my best friends. I was scared, cowardice from the Gryffindor princess. My actions were too rash and stupid, and I was going to suffer the consequences on my own. It was then, that I heard a groan-it was so far away though, and as hushed as a breeze." She stopped to throw a wistful, impish grin at Severus. "I guess I still craved knowledge in my last hours. Curiosity got the better of me, as always, and ignoring the lightheadedness that came from blood loss, I crawled to the noise. I kept going, even after vomiting everything I had in me and my fingernails breaking from gripping the floorboards, I crawled on. I kept going until…I found you."


	6. the lightened mood

He hadn't realized he was holding his breath until he felt his lungs blaze for oxygen. Severus looked at the woman in his arms in a new light. True, he knew Hermione's bravery and intelligence levels were high, but he was pleasantly surprised to be so emotionally intimate with her.

She was ripping bandages off healing wounds for him, and showing him love and compassion he was undeserving of. Hermione craned her neck to kiss along his brutally angular jawbone. His fingers dipped under the blanket to massage her bare back. She let out a delectable shiver and snuggled closer to him.

His equally nude body reacted to hers causing his cheeks to uncharacteristically flush. "Mmm, someone's happy," she giggled and continued to wiggle in his embrace. He bit back a frustrated groan and the urge to grind his hips foward. "Granger!" Severus growled, nipping at her collarbone hungrily.

"Please continue, love, before I do something I'll regret." "Sev, I can assure you, none of us will be regretting anything if I choose not to continue." Hermione wiggled her arched eyebrows suggestively with a naughty little smirk gracing her lips. He rolled his eyes at her mood swing, and she took that as incentive to continue. He found himself regretting it, because her happiness would be wiped out as soon as she carried on.


	7. the ironic love situation

.

"So, when I came across your body, I managed to slump myself next to you on the floor. I recall holding holding you in my arms, and crying harder because I felt so helpless. I couldn't save you, and I couldn't save myself. What was I good for?"

"I pressed my ear against your chest and heard the faint flutter of your heartbeat, but it was fading fast. I help you tight, despite the immense sting of my wounds, smoothing the hair out of your face. Sev, I didn't want you to die, you didn't deserve to. You had so much good left to do, I was just a stubborn little nerd. I would have done anything to take your place, but I was in no position to bargain. I think around that time, I had an epiphany. It wasn't just that I held you in high regards because you were a great professor. My childhood crush had developed into a desperate unrequited love."

Hermione glanced up at him to see his face a mask of indifference. She shifted in his arms, to scoot away and not cause him discomfort. I remember staring at you in awe; you had this ethereal paleness to you. Your facial features were softened like you were returning to your youth, with Lily where you held an inkling of happiness. The tears had stopped because my body was too exhausted to weep. I saw the snakebite ooze black as I shifted your head to lay in my lap. It was startling, and I pressed my ice numb fingers to the swollen wound. I knew that it was already wreaking havoc in your bloodstream, so attempting to remove it from the plum-sized site would be useless."

"Instead, I hid my face in your shoulder and sobbed and screamed until my vocal cords gave out. My eyes were burning with salted tears and my vision was blurred, rendering me almost incapable of seeing what happened next. I don't even believe it's real anymore, what I saw I mean." Hermione had been inching further away from him as the story progressed, fearing rejection from her stoic lover.


	8. the obsidian venom

.

"I did see my blood smeared over your injury when I opened my eyes after your heartbeats went silent. The charcoal liquid that seeped from the snakebite began to smolder as it fused with the crimson smudges from our transfer. It was so…surreal. I watched it smoke and sizzle, without burning you. I couldn't believe my eyes, and assumed it to be a hallucination, so I reached out to touch it. My fingertips were scorched with blisters." She pressed her index finger to his lips, and whispered, "Look." He did, and noticed she had no dermal papillae.

"Hermione, you have no fingerprints," Severus whispered against her fingers, repulsed by Nagini's toxicity. It was then that he realized her farfetched story was all truth, even if she didn't want to believe it anymore. Nagini's venom was beyond poisonous, it was erosive to touch. She let out a tiny fake yawn, and removed herself from his grasp completely, thinking he was disgusted. Hermione went to lay down beside him and he was immediately doused with a bitter loneliness. His unresponsiveness had pushed her away. She had poured her heart and soul out and confessed her feelings, entrusting her vulnerable self with him. He closed his eyes and tiredly rubbed his temples. Severus refused to accept that he hurt his beautiful lover deeply, and persuaded himself into thinking she was simply weary. She began to talk again, and instinct told him, he was forgiven in an instant.

"After I burned myself, I found my body beyond the point of exhaustion, where even spasms of adrenaline couldn't get me to stay awake. I knew at that point, if I closed my eyes, they'd never open again. My conscious mind seemed to hover over my body, clinging for dear life. It was peculiar though, because at that time, I had given up so much in the previous five hours more than my eighteen years of life. I wanted to fight then. I, Hermione Jean Granger, was not a quitter." She was cut off by a snicker and tugged on his long black hair playfully. "Hush, you."


	9. the almost end

"I watched from above as the mound of bubbling tar bust open. It was one of those moments where you're in rapture with incredulity. Your stomach is begging you to look away but your soul has been shocked into paralysis. Venom poured out of the limp like a Venetian fountain. It was captivating…sickening."

" I don't recall just how long it took to empty, but it seemed that every second you got better, I got worse. I was drifting further away from you, from me, into the abyss. I was clawing at the hazy air with futile attempts to hold on to you just once more." She paused and looked at Severus. He was twirling a strand of her mocha locks as his face stayed pensive. His smoldering eyes were trained on the ceiling. Hermione licked her lips, parched from the past sorrows, and returned to her storytelling.

"Eventually, I could see the outline of your body sitting up. Relief rushed from my every pore, only to be dampened by despair. You were alive and I couldn't have you. I couldn't when I was your student, and I couldn't as an equal warrior. I felt like fate had backhanded me; first taunting me with the sweet promise of possibility and then punishing me for my pursuit. I was fed up of being a toy."

She tried to wet her lips again but her mouth was arid. Severus took notice, not consciously, and leaned in to kiss her. When he realized it was actually an attempt to buy her more time, he got up and went to get her a glass of water. His honey-eyed beauty giggled when she saw his bare backside. He was so pale, like porcelain.


	10. the first touch

It immediately reminded her of the first time she touched his skin. It was after hours at Hogwarts during second year and she had been on her way to the restricted section of the library under the protection of Harry's invisibility cloak. She was tiptoeing through when Mrs. Norris and her haunting yellow eyes stopped her.

The dusty cat began mewing for master, strutting closer. Hermione was cornered against the dungeon wall, and Filch's cackles were bouncing off the chambers. Level-headedly, she slipped into the nearest door and held her breath. Filch coddled his cat on the other side. She could hear him talk to it as a lover, then pause. His feet shuffled as he moved towards the door she hid behind.

The knob twisted and she gripped the sheer fabric like a security blanket. Hermione stifled hysterical panting and went further into the room. She paid the décor no attention, nor any hints of who the owner was. She entered through another doorway, with a simple 'alohomora'- the unlocking charm.

Severus Snape, the bane of existences and internationally-known malevolent beast, was lying on a bed stark-naked as the day he was born and tangled in emerald silk. Her mouth, once dry with fear, began to pool with saliva. Her hands glazed with moisture as she stared at her professor. Every synapse sizzled with adrenaline. Fire began to burn in the pit of her stomach. She floated to his bedside, inhaling deeply to calm herself. The scents of cardamom and cinnamon, aged potions texts, and his special masculine musk swirled to create a dizzyingly erotic atmosphere. She could almost taste him in the air; his suffocating presence encased her hypersensitive skin like ghostly caresses.

Her fingers reached out to draw the covers over his semi-erect member. She had to clamp her thighs to stop the burning, when the back of her hand touched his heavy manhood. She gritted her teeth to suppress a scream of aggravation. Her hand still seared from where they came in contact. She could feel the juncture between her shaky legs begin to get moist. She cupped it. She had to.

Hermione let out all the air in her lungs at once; oxygen was no longer a priority. She only needed him to survive.


End file.
